HESITATION - FEAR OR WISDOM?

HESITATION – FEAR OR WISDOM?

I admire the artists who can paint holiday decorations on storefront windows. When my friend asked me to paint something on her sliding glass door, I jumped at the opportunity. But when she said she wanted a New York skyline, just simple and fast, I should have hesitated and politely declined. I should have told her it would be my first time and there would be a definite learning curve to go through. The first attempt at doing a new art project with new media and new techniques is never “simple and fast.” But instead of listening to my hesitation, I muscled ahead.  

As I started to research the project and thought through the process, I was getting more and more stressed. It wasn’t that I was afraid. I can work through “afraid.” But this feeling was more of a foreboding like if I started the project, it wouldn’t go well. I think we’ve all felt like that at times. We’re willing to start a new project, a new job, a new friendship; but no matter how excited we want to be, we honestly don’t feel any inner peace about it. We need to accept that sometimes hesitation is wisdom. The Holy Spirit is giving us a check, a little “Hey there, stop a minute and think honestly about this.”

I went to the local art stores, checked on materials, found out about techniques and did a lot of thinking about the images I wanted to use. In time alone, I used up more than the job warranted and I basically used up any money I expected to make on the project.

Finally, I realized I’d gotten myself into a big mess. I could feel my shoulders hunching, and I was overly agitated, and way too stressed out about it. I had to tell my friend I couldn’t do it. She understood, and I was relieved.

I learned several lessons from this experience:

1. Don’t be too quick to jump into something I’m not qualified for, no matter how fun it looks. Accept that new projects require a learning curve.

2. If I want to do something well, get some practice first.

3. If I feel uneasy about something, it’s okay to hesitate and consider or politely decline.

4. If I don’t have peace about a project, maybe I shouldn’t be doing it.

I think these principles apply to many things in life. Philippians 4:6-7 says: “Be careful [overly anxious] for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

It’s not weakness or sin to hesitate when faced with certain new experiences. But we need to take an honest look at our hesitation. Is it a result of fear or is it the Holy Spirit giving us a check, a constraint? When we know the answer to this question, we pray, and we’ll know from the Lord what to do next, and then we can be at peace.

Love, Carolyn   

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