Carbondale University of Illinois May 1970. I stood in the crowd of protesters chanting, “Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh, NLF is going to win.” I picked up a rock and threw it as hard as I could. The minute it flew from my hand I was jolted! “What am I doing?” I’d gone too far.
I was throwing a baseball-sized rock into a line of policemen, not even thinking who or what it could hit. I quickly backed out of the crowd of protesters and retreated to the trailer. I waited for my friends. I was silent on the trip home.
And when I got there I had some real soul searching to do. My next semester at school was awfully lonely. I’d abandoned my protester friends and began to look inward for answers.
At some point we all come to crossroads where we’re startled into asking, “Why am I doing this?”
Life is relatively short. If we’re wise we can handle the problem of personal motivations before the shocker comes.
Here’s a life saving, life changing exercise we can do now:
Write down an inventory of all the activities you do for two days. Then next to each, write what motivates you to do that activity. Be honest. “I don’t know” is not a valid final answer. If you really can’t come up with anything, it’s time to ask someone close to you. People close to us sometimes know us better than we do. What motivates us is important to know.
Finding out who we are is the first step to becoming who we want to be.
By the way, this true story from my life was brought to my memory by a movie I saw this weekend. It was called, “The Company You Keep,” with Robert Redford. Let’s remember that God will work through secular events in life to teach us spiritual truths.
Love, Carolyn
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