September
2014. It was another rush job. The designers were sending over three samples of
red brick and they wanted me to do variations of whitewash and aging on them.
The samples arrived late. The mortar wasn’t even dry yet but they still wanted me
to finish them so they could pick them up the next day. This was a tough one.
I
was under pressure to work quickly. I got three fans out to dry the mortar
first. Then I started to mix my colors. When somebody pushes me in a situation
like this, I want to push back. But I told myself, Jesus is with me. It’s okay. I can
do this.
Then
the project manager told me they were coming for the pieces two hours earlier
than planned. For a few minutes there I mentally lost it. What? I thought. They bring me the pieces
late. They aren’t even dry enough to paint and now they want them completed two
hours earlier? I started to
get angry and then a strange thing happened.
I
felt a meekness come over me. I didn’t even have to try to overcome anger or
any of that. My old nature of rebellion just disappeared instantaneously as an
overwhelming meekness enveloped me. It wasn’t me trying to be meek. It was
genuine. It clothed me inside and out and it felt really true and good. It was
like an atmosphere of meekness, through and through, beautiful, elegant and
powerful. This isn’t me, I
thought. But I didn’t have the time to ponder it, so even though it felt alien,
I went with it.
I
finished up the samples before the deadline and I’m sure it was the Lord
helping me on that one too. I told my project manager he could call the guy to
pick them up and I followed him over to the job site with my touch-up kit.
I
was so calm and peaceful in this new air of meekness. I walked onto the jobsite
in my typical outfit: a tee-shirt and painter pants that used to be white but
now were about 75% covered in paint from various past jobs. My boots were also
paint-spattered. I had on my hard hat and my safety vest which didn’t fit
because they only come in one size, large. I found a place to sit on a dusty stack
of bricks but I felt like an elegant powerful queen in a gorgeous dress and beautiful
crown. The meekness wasn’t weakness.
The
designer arrived and picked the sample he said he just loved. That made me
happy, but not nearly as happy as this new meekness I was experiencing.
It
was great to feel genuinely calm inside, in contrast to the uproar I usually
felt in these hurried, stressful, last minute situations. Some part of my soul
had changed. The old me: sharp-tongued, rebellious and angry. This new meekness
had to be the fruit of the spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23, part of the
new me, the Christ in me.
Romans
7 talks about the two natures we have in us, the old one and the new one. Only
God, through Jesus Christ can deliver us from our old nature (Rom 7:24-25). I
had tried my best in the past to be meek under stress but even with my
strongest efforts it wouldn’t last very long, and it definitely wouldn’t be
true meekness.
But
with the miraculous working of the Lord Jesus Christ, the rebellious angry
nature of the old Carolyn was replaced by the true and wonderful meekness of
Jesus Christ. That’s the new nature God intended for me to have. It had nothing
to do with me changing myself. It had everything to do with the Lord working in
me to change me into my real self in Christ.
Almost
every morning Jane and I add this little phrase to the end of our prayer: “I
can hardly wait to see what the Lord is going to do today.” It’s an exciting
life.
Love,
Carolyn
Christmas
is coming. One of my books could make the perfect gift for a friend or
relative. Find them here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/search?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&index=aps&keywords=WINGS%20Carolyn%20molica&linkCode=ur2&tag=jmbcsds-20&linkId=XQMVLVZYNBLYAGEM
If
you’d like a FREE PDF printable copy of any of my sample books, just let me
know. cjmolica@hotmail.com
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