It was one
of those rush jobs. The designers were sending over three 4ft. x 4ft. samples
of red brick and they wanted me to do three variations of whitewash and aging
on them. The samples were supposed to arrive at 10a.m. but they didn’t come
until two hours later. The mortar wasn’t even dry yet and they wanted to pick
them up the very next day. This was going to be tough.
I was under
the gun to work quickly. I got three fans out to dry the pieces and started to
mix my colors. (Yet another last minute project where I had to produce
something great in an outrageously short amount of time.) Usually I get uptight
when I’m pressured into this type of situation. Somebody pushes me and I want
to push back. But I told myself, Jesus is
with me. It’s okay. I can do this.
I worked
rapidly and steadily and got two of the pieces finished. Then the project
manager came out to tell me the guy was going to come for the pieces two hours
earlier than planned. What? I thought. They bring me the pieces late. They aren’t
even dry enough to paint and now they want them completed two hours earlier?
I started to get angry and then a strange thing happened.
I felt a
meekness come over me. This felt really odd. It’s not in my nature to be meek
when I’m being pushed. I’m more likely to be rebellious and ready for a fight
and I can have a very sharp tongue if I let it loose. People who don’t know me
very well may not believe it, but that’s because I’ve tried to keep those
reactions in tow.
But this
time I didn’t have to anything to control those reactions because they
disappeared instantaneously and a huge meekness enveloped me. It wasn’t me
trying to be meek. It was genuine. It clothed me inside and out and it felt really
true and good. It was like an atmosphere of meekness, through and through,
beautiful, elegant and powerful. This
isn’t me, I thought. But I didn’t have the time to ponder it, so even
though it felt alien, I went with it.
I finished
up the samples even before the deadline, which was pretty amazing and I’m sure
it was the Lord helping me on that one! I told my project manager he could call
the guy to pick them up and I followed him over to the job site with my
touch-up kit.
The samples
were displayed leaning against the wall of the restaurant where we were going
to do the job. A group of five men waited for the designer and gave their opinions
about which one they thought the designer would choose. I sat at the side with
my box of touch-up colors in case the designer needed to see changes on the
spot. I hardly recognized myself.
I was so
calm and peaceful in this new coat of meekness. I walked onto the jobsite with
my hard hat on, my safety vest, my boots, my painter pants marked with the
various colors of past jobs. I found a place to sit on a dusty cardboard box on
top of a stack of bricks. There was construction dust and dirt all around, but
I felt like an elegant powerful queen in a gorgeous ermine cloak and beautiful
crown. Meek isn’t weak but quite the opposite.
The designer
arrived and picked one of the samples he said he loved. That made me happy, but
not nearly as happy as this new meekness I was experiencing.
How elated I
was to feel the genuine calm, in contrast to the uproar I usually felt in these
hurried, stressful, last minute type situations. Some part of me had changed on
the inside. This new feeling didn’t feel like me. I know the old me: sharp-tongued,
rebellious and angry. This new meekness wasn’t the old me, it was the fruit of
the spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22, the new me, Christ in me.
Romans 7
talks about the two natures we have in us, the old one and the new one. Only God,
through Jesus Christ can deliver us from our old nature (Rom 7:24-25). I could
try my best to be meek under stress but even with my strongest efforts it
wouldn’t last very long, and it definitely wouldn’t be true meekness.
But with the
miraculous working of the Lord Jesus Christ, the rebellious angry nature of the
old Carolyn was replaced by the true and wonderful meekness of Jesus Christ.
That’s the new nature God intended for me to have. It had nothing to do with me
changing myself. It had everything to do with God working in me to change me to
my real self in Christ.
Almost every
morning Jane and I add this little phrase to the end of our prayer: “I can
hardly wait to see what God’s going to do today.” It’s an exciting life.
Love,
Carolyn
I’m offering
WINGS Part 1 for FREE. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Wings+Carolyn+Molica
Also if
you’d like a FREE PDF printable copy of any of my sample books, just let me
know. carolynmolica@yahoo.com
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