HONORING THE TRANSITION FROM CHILD TO YOUNG ADULT

HONORING THE TRANSITION FROM CHILD TO YOUNG ADULT

I went to my first Quinceañera last night. It has its cultural roots in Mesoamerica and is widely celebrated today throughout the Americas. Traditionally, it is a gift from the father to his daughter on her fifteenth birthday. As I was driving over to the event, I was thinking about how important it is for a teenage girl to be honored. And to be respected by her father first, but also by her mother, her family, and other adults, can be paramount to a young girl’s future. Teenage girls are fragile. What happens to a teen girl has a lasting effect. Her relationships with men in the future will show reflections of how her relationships went with her father, brothers, and other men in her teen life.

Boys go through changes when they become young men, and I believe they should be honored and recognized too.

I believe that events (big or small) that bring families together to take special notice and give honor to a child transitioning to adulthood can be instrumental in giving teens courage, confidence, and assurance of a good future, with the support of adults that have gone before.

I believe that there should be mention of God and the Lord Jesus as the sovereign guide of their future, and the Bible principles their ultimate standard for every decision.

“In Luke 2, the Bible gives us a short synopsis of Jesus’s transition. He had to go from being a child, a teen, and an adult, just like the rest of us.

“Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover.  And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast” (Luke 2:41-42).

At this feast, the Hebrews celebrated the great Exodus from Egypt, and how, when the angel of death slew the firstborn of all the Egyptians, he “passed over” the children of the Israelites. 

“And when they [Joseph and Mary] had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it. But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.

“And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him. And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions” (Luke 2:43-46).

Just like any teenager, Jesus found something that fascinated him and distracted his attention away from his parents. He must have thought it was much more interesting to hang out with the teachers than to stay with his parents.  

“And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers” (Luke 2: 47).  Here we see that the Jewish rabbis honored him. And isn’t that just the case sometimes? The parents can’t see how amazing their kids are, but other adults see and go on and on lavishing the kids with praise.

“And when they [the parents] saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, ‘Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.’

“And he said unto them, ‘How is it that ye sought me? Wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?’  And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them” (Luke 2:48-50).

“And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.” Here we see that Jesus, as a teenager, was generally obedient to his parents, and that’s a great teaching lesson for teenagers. The other thing is that Mary thought about what was now happening in this transitional phase in her son’s life. She was taking time to really look at her son, not just as a child, but as he was turning into an adult.

We see in the next verse that Jesus truly was becoming a man. I don’t know if, in the Bible, any formal celebrations took place surrounding the time of transition. Jewish Bar Mitzvahs started in thirteenth-century France. What we know is that the Bible says that shortly after the incident in Jerusalem when Jesus was twelve years old, he was honored by God and by men.

“And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” (Luke 2:41-52)

Parents, if you haven’t already done it, how about considering some kind of special event, even if small, to give your transitioning child some special honor, recognition, and assurance of support for whatever he or she may desire for the future. Every teen deserves the stability of not only an adult’s love but maybe even more, their respect and honor.

Love, Carolyn

PS: Thank you, Kim, for inviting me to your daughter’s Quinceañera. And Brianna, may your future always be as beautiful, encouraged, and strong in spirit as you were last night, in my eyes, and God’s as well. Love you, Carolyn